anyway, they have to have reached the deep end by now, because i said so. also because they need to have stopped swimming for amami's silence to really hit, especially when he gives a heavy exhale, sighing as if the question weighs down on him physically too. )
You said you didn't have any siblings, right, Akehoshi-kun?
( it's something he's asked before, almost certainly, but it comes up again for this. while the answer might've gotten subaru brushed off with arms-length distance the first time, he seems to be giving more thought to it now. it'd probably be impossible for subaru to understand — the crushing guilt of failure, a still-raw wound that continues to reopen again and again and again; the importance of keeping them safe, and the desperate need to make sure that they're never left doubting how much they're loved. it's the mistakes he's made, but can't get into, and hates to acknowledge even as they continue to repeat. his expression feels distant even now. tired and sad and a little resigned, despite the outline of a smile that traces itself across his lips. )
Let's say I'm just glad there's someone they can rely on, is all. I'm sure you can understand that much.
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( ...
anyway, they have to have reached the deep end by now, because i said so. also because they need to have stopped swimming for amami's silence to really hit, especially when he gives a heavy exhale, sighing as if the question weighs down on him physically too. )
You said you didn't have any siblings, right, Akehoshi-kun?
( it's something he's asked before, almost certainly, but it comes up again for this. while the answer might've gotten subaru brushed off with arms-length distance the first time, he seems to be giving more thought to it now. it'd probably be impossible for subaru to understand — the crushing guilt of failure, a still-raw wound that continues to reopen again and again and again; the importance of keeping them safe, and the desperate need to make sure that they're never left doubting how much they're loved. it's the mistakes he's made, but can't get into, and hates to acknowledge even as they continue to repeat. his expression feels distant even now. tired and sad and a little resigned, despite the outline of a smile that traces itself across his lips. )
Let's say I'm just glad there's someone they can rely on, is all. I'm sure you can understand that much.