[subaru stirs his soup quietly, smile more subdued than happy at that fact, not mad or hurt. he knows he's lucky, in a way. whether or not he manages to keep his word he's lucky, because that pain will only be a blip and he won't feel it long, won't remember it...

... but he won't remember the good times, either. why suncatchers and stars make him smile, why he likes red hair or the way someone tells a joke. why he's fond of people who are pragmatic but mean well-- none of that, from this past life or after life. and it already makes him feel so terribly alone.]

I dunno. I'm not really ready to move on, so I might see if I can stick around somehow. Without dying if I can help it.