It's fine. Like I said, it's not going to change my feelings.
( he just doesn't want subaru putting himself in another situation where komaeda could lose his damn mind, especially considering what's to come. it would be nice if he could be remembered more fondly, but he doesn't expect so much of the people around him regardless. so instead, he'll shrug, offer a half-hearted smile. )
Well, I'll admit that it does kind of sting though.
( he'd kind of hoped that subaru had meant it when he'd reached out his hand to amami that time back then.
but this is how these things always end up, isn't it? there's a reason amami hasn't had so many friends in the past either. )
[oddly though, that at least makes subaru feel better -- not because he wanted to hurt amami, but because it means amami cares after all.
...
he thinks of how komaeda always gets onto him about this, and chews on his lip.]
Not... 'cause I wanted to hurt you, Ama-chan, but because I wanted to make sure you cared. If it stung, then it means that you consider us friends, which makes me happy. If you didn't, then you wouldn't feel a thing at all.
So what you're saying is... ( he exhales, long and tired sounding. ) That you don't care if the things you say hurt me, as long as you can prove you're important.
( because that's what it is, isn't it? he didn't want to hurt amami, supposedly, but doing so was the only way to verify that he was getting what he wanted, right? is that how things are between them? because the two wants he's listed off don't seem too different to him. that shallow smile stays right where it belongs on amami's face though, empty despite how comfortably it sits across his expression. )
I guess that's good for you then.
( congratulations, subaru. you got what you wanted.
... )
Anyway, I'll let you get yourself patched up, now that you've figured that out. See you, Akehoshi-kun.
( he's got some visitors waiting for him outside anyway, from the looks of things. )
no subject
( he just doesn't want subaru putting himself in another situation where komaeda could lose his damn mind, especially considering what's to come. it would be nice if he could be remembered more fondly, but he doesn't expect so much of the people around him regardless. so instead, he'll shrug, offer a half-hearted smile. )
Well, I'll admit that it does kind of sting though.
( he'd kind of hoped that subaru had meant it when he'd reached out his hand to amami that time back then.
but this is how these things always end up, isn't it? there's a reason amami hasn't had so many friends in the past either. )
no subject
[oddly though, that at least makes subaru feel better -- not because he wanted to hurt amami, but because it means amami cares after all.
...
he thinks of how komaeda always gets onto him about this, and chews on his lip.]
Not... 'cause I wanted to hurt you, Ama-chan, but because I wanted to make sure you cared. If it stung, then it means that you consider us friends, which makes me happy. If you didn't, then you wouldn't feel a thing at all.
[it's a bad way to mark it. but it is a way.]
no subject
( because that's what it is, isn't it? he didn't want to hurt amami, supposedly, but doing so was the only way to verify that he was getting what he wanted, right? is that how things are between them? because the two wants he's listed off don't seem too different to him. that shallow smile stays right where it belongs on amami's face though, empty despite how comfortably it sits across his expression. )
I guess that's good for you then.
( congratulations, subaru. you got what you wanted.
... )
Anyway, I'll let you get yourself patched up, now that you've figured that out. See you, Akehoshi-kun.
( he's got some visitors waiting for him outside anyway, from the looks of things. )