[she could teach him. she taught Natsume, she taught Keigo - it would be simple, to get the sheets she made out again, and to teach him how to close his eyes and let himself feel the words.]
I could, but you'll have to give it your all. For their sake, not just mine.
[he breathes out a sigh of relief, as if there was ever any doubt that helena would share it with him if he'd only asked -- a "good enough" reason or not, she would have, he knows this and yet,
it felt a little silly to him, when he had other ways to connect to her.]
Of course! I dunno if they'll get mad at me reading it or not, but I'll ask for forgiveness over permission this time. It's something they worked on, so I wanna be able to talk to them about it... just like the scrapbook they started on.
[except subaru's intending to finish it for them if it's the only thing he does this month, if it's the only thing he leaves behind... he doesn't know what graduation holds, if he can even go back to whatever life he traded off that natsume was so burned by, but he'll finish it regardless.]
[this conversation helps. it's relief from the storm, a secret space of quiet for them both. she doesn't feel sick to her stomach, holding on - and she wants to give this to him. to give him Keigo's words, and then, maybe, her own words, the ones he so bravely had saved for her. the ones Keigo had also tried to save. oh, it's so terribly mixed up, and it hurts.]
The book was addressed to me. And I say you can read it, so I'll make that possible. You had permission before you even asked.
[he's quiet, then he lifts his head to lean it against hers, closing his eyes.]
Thanks. I appreciate it, Lena.
[better to cherish and hold onto light than to dwell in darkness, and helena is a soft spot of it. it's hard. it's difficult. he didn't even get to say a proper goodbye -- but he'll be sure to say hello, maybe, at least right now he wants to.
...]
This is gonna be a hell of a month, huh~?
[long and torturous and yet it'll be over in the blink of an eye.]
no subject
[she could teach him. she taught Natsume, she taught Keigo - it would be simple, to get the sheets she made out again, and to teach him how to close his eyes and let himself feel the words.]
I could, but you'll have to give it your all. For their sake, not just mine.
no subject
it felt a little silly to him, when he had other ways to connect to her.]
Of course! I dunno if they'll get mad at me reading it or not, but I'll ask for forgiveness over permission this time. It's something they worked on, so I wanna be able to talk to them about it... just like the scrapbook they started on.
[except subaru's intending to finish it for them if it's the only thing he does this month, if it's the only thing he leaves behind... he doesn't know what graduation holds, if he can even go back to whatever life he traded off that natsume was so burned by, but he'll finish it regardless.]
no subject
[this conversation helps. it's relief from the storm, a secret space of quiet for them both. she doesn't feel sick to her stomach, holding on - and she wants to give this to him. to give him Keigo's words, and then, maybe, her own words, the ones he so bravely had saved for her. the ones Keigo had also tried to save. oh, it's so terribly mixed up, and it hurts.]
The book was addressed to me. And I say you can read it, so I'll make that possible. You had permission before you even asked.
no subject
Thanks. I appreciate it, Lena.
[better to cherish and hold onto light than to dwell in darkness, and helena is a soft spot of it. it's hard. it's difficult. he didn't even get to say a proper goodbye -- but he'll be sure to say hello, maybe, at least right now he wants to.
...]
This is gonna be a hell of a month, huh~?
[long and torturous and yet it'll be over in the blink of an eye.]