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So you don't care that I think you don't trust me? That I can't expect you to have my back, when you'll leap to the aid of people who're just being asked some questions by someone who knows them better than you?

[not that subaru needs people to defend him, but it's nice. it's a way to show you care, being mad for someone else. it's why subaru's pissed right now, because he cares about amami and it hurts to think that amami doesn't return that for all his talk of being friends.]

What won't I get? [it's been bothering him.] What it's like to lose someone? You know I do.

[his father. almost his mother. how he lost his childhood to moving around and growing up too fast, how he lost ever chance to just be a normal person and cry when he felt like it, be angry and hate others when he felt like it.]

I don't care if you don't agree with me, [quieter because that is no one's business,] or if you don't even give me a well-wish, 'cause I wouldn't do the same for you if it's bad enough you're not tellin' me what it is, but I can't stand you acting like you've tried opening up to me.

( he waits for subaru to go through it all before speaking up, but once he does, it really doesn't feel like there's much left for him to say. rather, there's not much he wants to say. the requisite number of times to harass him is actually three, so hearing things like this, it just makes him uncomfortable at this point. his guard is raised, and he's not about to open up that tender reason for his words just so subaru can jab at it with a sharp, bitter stick. he's already shown how quick he is to turn on amami, how quick he is to badmouth him publicly just because he didn't want to talk about something yet...

the idea of opening up to him now only makes amami nauseous, but he keeps a smile plastered over it all just the same. )

Well, there you have it. ( simple. conclusive. matter-of-fact. )

I don't really need to say anything, do I? You've got everything worked out in your head and, look, you didn't even need to know what that plan was to reject it.

( it was a pretty harmless plan, he thinks. the one he had been referencing that day. but he's looking over his shoulder now, like he still wants to make another break for it. )

It's complicated, Akehoshi-kun. And anyway, I just wanted to make sure you'd take care of yourself.

( not get into... whatever the hell this is. )

What complicated about being friends?

[please. in the end, this about something personal to subaru, but it's his own fault for not being communicative about it.]

( maybe it will be a lesson then, about blindly lashing out when you're feeling petty and hurt. )

I wouldn't call what you just pulled back there "friendly" either.

[sorta miss the amami that almost snapped at him before

but

amami is right this time, coming from a place of hurt. it doesn't mean he's right all the time, but this time... yeah. he can own up to his mistakes, at least.]

... Yeah, you're right. It wasn't, and I'm sorry. [really is, shoulders slumping a bit.] I shouldn't have said that about you -- either of 'em.

[not the bridge burning, and not the follow-up goading.]

No matter how sore I am.

[most of all

he doesn't want to potentially let things end with them being sticky at each other, to the point that others can notice. more on subaru's side than amami's, but... still.]

It's fine. Like I said, it's not going to change my feelings.

( he just doesn't want subaru putting himself in another situation where komaeda could lose his damn mind, especially considering what's to come. it would be nice if he could be remembered more fondly, but he doesn't expect so much of the people around him regardless. so instead, he'll shrug, offer a half-hearted smile. )

Well, I'll admit that it does kind of sting though.

( he'd kind of hoped that subaru had meant it when he'd reached out his hand to amami that time back then.

but this is how these things always end up, isn't it? there's a reason amami hasn't had so many friends in the past either. )

It's supposed to.

[oddly though, that at least makes subaru feel better -- not because he wanted to hurt amami, but because it means amami cares after all.

...

he thinks of how komaeda always gets onto him about this, and chews on his lip.]

Not... 'cause I wanted to hurt you, Ama-chan, but because I wanted to make sure you cared. If it stung, then it means that you consider us friends, which makes me happy. If you didn't, then you wouldn't feel a thing at all.

[it's a bad way to mark it. but it is a way.]

So what you're saying is... ( he exhales, long and tired sounding. ) That you don't care if the things you say hurt me, as long as you can prove you're important.

( because that's what it is, isn't it? he didn't want to hurt amami, supposedly, but doing so was the only way to verify that he was getting what he wanted, right? is that how things are between them? because the two wants he's listed off don't seem too different to him. that shallow smile stays right where it belongs on amami's face though, empty despite how comfortably it sits across his expression. )

I guess that's good for you then.

( congratulations, subaru. you got what you wanted.

... )

Anyway, I'll let you get yourself patched up, now that you've figured that out. See you, Akehoshi-kun.

( he's got some visitors waiting for him outside anyway, from the looks of things. )

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HE GOT WORDS!!!

he can keep em

come back here

make him

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