( poor subaru. supposedly doing everything right, and there's even some shuffling behind the door as subaru waits. though, once it approaches, there's a pause before the handle actually turns, opening up to reveal an incredibly unimpressed amami. )
Akehoshi-kun.
( he's making an face that really conveys that "oh gross" and "please can you not do that" vibe, and though it's maybe a little cautious, at least it doesn't quite have an edge to it at the moment. )
( grimace on his face probably says about how effective the affection-switch is as amami holds his arms up in the air and just kind of lets subaru do his thing. )
Is this another one of those things you're wanting to put on the forum? Like the soup, sandwich, salad?
( he's literally just some guy what are you looking at him for. )
( ? subaru's the dog here, don't you good boy him. that's komaeda's exclusive right.
anyway, he gets a bit of a look from amami, but it's followed up by a nod down the hallway. he'll grab a sweater to pull on and follow close behind. see? dog energy. gotta take subaru on a walk. )
Go ahead then. It's important?
( if it's not amami is going back inside it's too cold for this. )
[which is all he'll say as he waits patiently by the door, then starts off a little ahead of his friend. definite dog energy, it's true, what amami said once about him being the sort of guy that needs to be walked or whatever is absolutely right and shown more often then i could describe,
anyway once they're more out of earshot of any doors aka they're outside in the fuck off cold of january, subaru'll fall back a bit to beside amami instead.]
I think we could probably throw hands with God to get Keigo's situation smoothed out. [please this is such a random thing to throw out] I mean, who else would you make a stupid deal with if you died?
[because they had to have died to get here, like anyone else. subaru just knows how they died now. thanks natsume.]
Also, I talked to Mitzy-sensei, and he's game to watch me go at it. So we've got one fan on our side! Don't tell Keigo I went to talk to his old man, okay? It's a secret between you and me. ♪
( is that who mitzy-sensei is? because when amami says it, he has an expression that reflects his distaste pretty well. it looks like the word "ew" is on the tip of his tongue, but he's holding off only because he knows his manners. still... ew. the idea that he's their dad, no less... extra ew. not that amami faults keigo for being imprinted on his own parent, but... sometimes people just do a really shoddy job at being a parent, and they deserve to be shamed for it. anyway, enough grimacing, back to business: )
Sure. Okay, I'm up for it. How are we going to meet god, then?
( please don't tell him "fight god, don't know how to meet them but fight them," is the entire plan. )
Yup yup! So... what we're gonna need is money, I think, and a lot of it! I'll bet he hasn't been visited in a while, so the larger the offering the better chance we'll have at getting an audience! Unfortunately, I got mugged of any money I could've used to help, but you're pretty well off, aren'tcha? ☆
[MMMMMMMM fine they said they probably had enough, a little extra couldn't hurt but it's fine. subaru's jumping for joy anyway, bouncing around in what snow is left.]
Yes~! Thanks a ton, Ama-chan~! I knew I could count on you!
[what were they doing. walking? walk your dogfriend.]
Okay, so, with the talking thing... [...] To be honest, I got an idea of what to offer to help 'em out of their deal there, though I don't know if it'll work. They've been working so hard for something important, y'know? And it's... bigger than just them, too.
[... ...]
Ama-chan~, you and Rocchan are sorta close, right? Teammates and all. Has he ever told you what he wants? What's like, his driving force or whatever...? I wanna make everyone I can happy, so there's no hard feelings when I'm gone, but it's tough only knowing half the situation~.
( so there's no hard feelings "when he's gone," huh? okay, idiot. amami gets where this is going. to be honest? he's not about it. not even a little bit. )
I did, and I will — but not like that. ( and just for good measure, his expression darkens despite the smile he has. )
You really think I'm going to let you sacrifice yourself for this?
( ... )
... Kamo-kun would never forgive me if I went along with something like that.
( also that's been his idea since he learned in lanling, and he'd bet every penny he has that he's got a better argument for it too. original oc do not steal. )
... They'd never forgive me for that either, 'cause the one thing they asked of me was that I don't do anything that'd cause me any harm.
[so he knows. and he shakes his head, turning on his heel with a more serious look on his face.]
I'm not sacrificing myself, not really. Just who I was. I'm pretty satisfied with what I did back when I was alive, Ama-chan. I stood on a stage every idol dreams of. I cleared my dad's named from a scandal that'd killed him in the end. I made lots of friends, sang with them, and my mom's been able to smile when she sees idols for the first time in a long, long time. I even got to sing on stage with my dad, even if I still don't know if it was a dream or not...
So I'm giving up every memory I have of then, every happy and sad moment. That's why I don't know if it'll be enough, but I'm hoping that my eighteen years of everything'll be enough to dig them out of theirs -- and if not, it's a starting point.
[he won't be able to go home after graduation, if thats what happens. he won't be able to return to that life no matter what. but subaru, as amami knows, has always looked at the future and found his own way on things for better or worse.]
It's not me as I am right now, just the me of then. So it's fine.
"I'm not sacrificing myself," he says, but aren't you? I mean, if you were satisfied, that's all the more reason to hang on to those things. It's not that I don't think we should do everything we can, but it's... Let's not jump to extremes like that right off the bat, yeah?
( for all they know, their dear contract-making god will be very kind and understand, "oh maybe i should not steal this child away from samsara," and that will be that.
even if not... a sacrifice like that from someone like subaru is nothing to scoff at. not to amami, who knows too well the importance of memories — how fickle and fragile they are, and how they can build you up and break you down. subaru may be the type to look at the future now, but who's to say that he would do the same if he lost those memories that taught him to do so? who's to say where his smile would go if he didn't need to learn to make his own shine to brighten up his life?
it doesn't make sense for someone who has meaning in their life — for someone who has meaning to others — to give up on themselves that way. )
Akehoshi-kun, you know there's only so much I can do to stop you, but I'm certainly not going to help you with a plan like that. So get that idea out of your mind right now. We'll figure out something else.
[he knew others wouldn't be happy to hear it, which is why he doesn't say a word refuting the other; he already accepted that it wouldn't be something others would want for him, even if he can say he's fine with it now.]
Your opinion wouldn't change if I said I was gonna let 'em have it on graduation day, would it? Like how Keigo's supposed to disappear then, but instead it's just...
[his memories, his past life. that.]
And they get years and years ahead of them instead. [...] But I get it. I'm always open to new ideas anyway~.
[fighting god, giving up his memories, this kid doesn't know a halfway measure]
It doesn't make sense for you to make a sacrifice like that. Especially if those memories are precious to you. I mean... there's no way to know if you'd even be the same person without those experiences.
( but subaru doesn't seem dissuaded. his plan is spoken like someone truly ungrateful to have never had memories taken forcibly from him in the past.
it's the happiness in them though, that really makes it a hard sell for amami. at the very least take someone miserable, or someone who has no future ahead of him even if he did make the choice to return home. to snatch away the opportunities of someone who has so much they could still live for and pursue, who has people who care about them, who has hope... to say it rubs him the wrong way would be an understatement. )
A trade is fine, but I'm certain we can find a better bargaining chip.
( like amami's soul? now that's equivalent exchange baybee. )
And if it's you, Ama-chan, then there's no way I'm helping you out.
[because isn't fair, to take away someone's family like that. it'd be just as bad as komaeda or rokuro doing the same thing.]
I'll be the same person without those memories. [firm and resolute, a certainty he can't possibly know but believes in regardless.] But Keigo won't be the same without you. You mean so much more to them than you think.
If it came to that, they wouldn't even know what happened. I'm on track to graduate this year, aren't I?
( it would be just like he left to go home, and they'd have plenty here to look after them in the meantime. it isn't that amami doesn't care, but... sometimes, you have to do what's best for the people you care about. sometimes, what's best for someone doesn't include you. it's a sacrifice he doesn't like any more than subaru, but one he feels he has a strong backing in going through with. )
But it's not like I have much of a place to go back to. I'd have plenty to live for, but the chances of surviving for me, they'd be pretty slim. The way I see it, this is the end of the line for me either way, so it would be a waste for someone who has so much more of a chance out there to give up something so important.
( someone who's already proven they can be happy — that they've succeeded and can continue to succeed in the future as well.
he'll shake his head though, because it's not like he'd skip to the extremes for himself, either. he has a more tempered solution, and backup plans beyond that... )
Besides, you haven't even asked what I'd be giving up.
[... poor amami, is all subaru can think, though he knows there's others with similar stories. more who can't go home, or don't want to, than those with futures bright like his own and natsume. but he'll sway on his feet, ever moving, before he tilts his head curiously.]
( he doesn't wanna talk about it, but it's technically not sacrificing himself, and it's not as bad as subaru's. in fact, if he could get a contract, it would only ensure that he would be able to stay at keigo's side for as long as they needed him to be there. it would be... a good thing, he thinks, but it isn't something he intends to get into now. )
But I'm not planning to give up on myself either. I just want you to think about what you're trying to do here, because I think there's a better way to do it.
Ama-chan~, you can't say that and then not tell me what it is when I ask! And what if there's not? Keigo only got their deal 'cause it's a life for a life, mine's the same except it's a past for a future.
[so what makes it any better than this.]
I told you, I'm fine with it. I've thought about it, and I've accepted the cost -- it's totally worth it in my mind, they spent so long being alone and now they'll have the chance to have so many more friends! So many, they won't know what to do with 'em! Isn't that worth a shot, Ama-chan?
u should be apologizing to amami
Akehoshi-kun.
( he's making an face that really conveys that "oh gross" and "please can you not do that" vibe, and though it's maybe a little cautious, at least it doesn't quite have an edge to it at the moment. )
Sorry Amami. also 1/2
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[yeah no gross fondness just happy and subaru hugging onto him hello]
Not who I was expectin', but you know what! I got something to ask you anyway! How do you feel about your chances against God?
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Is this another one of those things you're wanting to put on the forum? Like the soup, sandwich, salad?
( he's literally just some guy what are you looking at him for. )
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...
should have done that before asking about god but,]
Something like that~. Let's go outside! I wanna run around a bit~. I'll tell you more after!
[he'll tell him regardless of the running but still]
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anyway, he gets a bit of a look from amami, but it's followed up by a nod down the hallway. he'll grab a sweater to pull on and follow close behind. see? dog energy. gotta take subaru on a walk. )
Go ahead then. It's important?
( if it's not amami is going back inside it's too cold for this. )
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[which is all he'll say as he waits patiently by the door, then starts off a little ahead of his friend. definite dog energy, it's true, what amami said once about him being the sort of guy that needs to be walked or whatever is absolutely right and shown more often then i could describe,
anyway once they're more out of earshot of any doors aka they're outside in the fuck off cold of january, subaru'll fall back a bit to beside amami instead.]
I think we could probably throw hands with God to get Keigo's situation smoothed out. [please this is such a random thing to throw out] I mean, who else would you make a stupid deal with if you died?
[because they had to have died to get here, like anyone else. subaru just knows how they died now. thanks natsume.]
Also, I talked to Mitzy-sensei, and he's game to watch me go at it. So we've got one fan on our side! Don't tell Keigo I went to talk to his old man, okay? It's a secret between you and me. ♪
[bbbbecause he wasn't supposed to]
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...Mizuki? The counselor?
( is that who mitzy-sensei is? because when amami says it, he has an expression that reflects his distaste pretty well. it looks like the word "ew" is on the tip of his tongue, but he's holding off only because he knows his manners. still... ew. the idea that he's their dad, no less... extra ew. not that amami faults keigo for being imprinted on his own parent, but... sometimes people just do a really shoddy job at being a parent, and they deserve to be shamed for it. anyway, enough grimacing, back to business: )
Sure. Okay, I'm up for it. How are we going to meet god, then?
( please don't tell him "fight god, don't know how to meet them but fight them," is the entire plan. )
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subaru turns to look at the forest, uncharacteristically quiet for a moment before he replies.]
Lena mentioned something about a shrine in the forest. I figure we'll find him there, or at least a way to him.
[... thank god they had that meeting subaru would be in so much trouble if not for that]
I wanna talk to the big guy first, though. But if it doesn't go well, we'll just beat 'im up til it does.
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Got it. So we'll go to the shrine and... I guess make an offering?
( looks at subaru like, please confirm. )
I don't know about the fight part of the plan, but if we're able to at least meet them, maybe we can figure things out from there.
( if not, maybe they can bring someone who's a little more, uh, equipped to handle a fight with god... )
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[can you fund it]
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( there's all kinds of things. maybe it's a hungry god, huh, what then? )
But yeah, I can do my part if it's for Kamo-kun.
( sorry, but you're not keeping any of his money, subaru. )
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Yes~! Thanks a ton, Ama-chan~! I knew I could count on you!
[what were they doing. walking? walk your dogfriend.]
Okay, so, with the talking thing... [...] To be honest, I got an idea of what to offer to help 'em out of their deal there, though I don't know if it'll work. They've been working so hard for something important, y'know? And it's... bigger than just them, too.
[... ...]
Ama-chan~, you and Rocchan are sorta close, right? Teammates and all. Has he ever told you what he wants? What's like, his driving force or whatever...? I wanna make everyone I can happy, so there's no hard feelings when I'm gone, but it's tough only knowing half the situation~.
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( so there's no hard feelings "when he's gone," huh? okay, idiot. amami gets where this is going. to be honest? he's not about it. not even a little bit. )
I'm retracting my offering.
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[he slipped up but he doesn't realize it]
Ama-chan, didn't you say you'd help 'em out? I need you!
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You really think I'm going to let you sacrifice yourself for this?
( ... )
... Kamo-kun would never forgive me if I went along with something like that.
( also that's been his idea since he learned in lanling, and he'd bet every penny he has that he's got a better argument for it too. original oc do not steal. )
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[so he knows. and he shakes his head, turning on his heel with a more serious look on his face.]
I'm not sacrificing myself, not really. Just who I was. I'm pretty satisfied with what I did back when I was alive, Ama-chan. I stood on a stage every idol dreams of. I cleared my dad's named from a scandal that'd killed him in the end. I made lots of friends, sang with them, and my mom's been able to smile when she sees idols for the first time in a long, long time. I even got to sing on stage with my dad, even if I still don't know if it was a dream or not...
So I'm giving up every memory I have of then, every happy and sad moment. That's why I don't know if it'll be enough, but I'm hoping that my eighteen years of everything'll be enough to dig them out of theirs -- and if not, it's a starting point.
[he won't be able to go home after graduation, if thats what happens. he won't be able to return to that life no matter what. but subaru, as amami knows, has always looked at the future and found his own way on things for better or worse.]
It's not me as I am right now, just the me of then. So it's fine.
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( for all they know, their dear contract-making god will be very kind and understand, "oh maybe i should not steal this child away from samsara," and that will be that.
even if not... a sacrifice like that from someone like subaru is nothing to scoff at. not to amami, who knows too well the importance of memories — how fickle and fragile they are, and how they can build you up and break you down. subaru may be the type to look at the future now, but who's to say that he would do the same if he lost those memories that taught him to do so? who's to say where his smile would go if he didn't need to learn to make his own shine to brighten up his life?
it doesn't make sense for someone who has meaning in their life — for someone who has meaning to others — to give up on themselves that way. )
Akehoshi-kun, you know there's only so much I can do to stop you, but I'm certainly not going to help you with a plan like that. So get that idea out of your mind right now. We'll figure out something else.
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Your opinion wouldn't change if I said I was gonna let 'em have it on graduation day, would it? Like how Keigo's supposed to disappear then, but instead it's just...
[his memories, his past life. that.]
And they get years and years ahead of them instead. [...] But I get it. I'm always open to new ideas anyway~.
[fighting god, giving up his memories, this kid doesn't know a halfway measure]
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( but subaru doesn't seem dissuaded. his plan is spoken like someone truly ungrateful to have never had memories taken forcibly from him in the past.
it's the happiness in them though, that really makes it a hard sell for amami. at the very least take someone miserable, or someone who has no future ahead of him even if he did make the choice to return home. to snatch away the opportunities of someone who has so much they could still live for and pursue, who has people who care about them, who has hope... to say it rubs him the wrong way would be an understatement. )
A trade is fine, but I'm certain we can find a better bargaining chip.
( like amami's soul? now that's equivalent exchange baybee. )
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[because isn't fair, to take away someone's family like that. it'd be just as bad as komaeda or rokuro doing the same thing.]
I'll be the same person without those memories. [firm and resolute, a certainty he can't possibly know but believes in regardless.] But Keigo won't be the same without you. You mean so much more to them than you think.
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( it would be just like he left to go home, and they'd have plenty here to look after them in the meantime. it isn't that amami doesn't care, but... sometimes, you have to do what's best for the people you care about. sometimes, what's best for someone doesn't include you. it's a sacrifice he doesn't like any more than subaru, but one he feels he has a strong backing in going through with. )
But it's not like I have much of a place to go back to. I'd have plenty to live for, but the chances of surviving for me, they'd be pretty slim. The way I see it, this is the end of the line for me either way, so it would be a waste for someone who has so much more of a chance out there to give up something so important.
( someone who's already proven they can be happy — that they've succeeded and can continue to succeed in the future as well.
he'll shake his head though, because it's not like he'd skip to the extremes for himself, either. he has a more tempered solution, and backup plans beyond that... )
Besides, you haven't even asked what I'd be giving up.
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What?
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( he doesn't wanna talk about it, but it's technically not sacrificing himself, and it's not as bad as subaru's. in fact, if he could get a contract, it would only ensure that he would be able to stay at keigo's side for as long as they needed him to be there. it would be... a good thing, he thinks, but it isn't something he intends to get into now. )
But I'm not planning to give up on myself either. I just want you to think about what you're trying to do here, because I think there's a better way to do it.
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[so what makes it any better than this.]
I told you, I'm fine with it. I've thought about it, and I've accepted the cost -- it's totally worth it in my mind, they spent so long being alone and now they'll have the chance to have so many more friends! So many, they won't know what to do with 'em! Isn't that worth a shot, Ama-chan?
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