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[crystallomancy]

( he almost refutes it.

but he stays uncharacteristically quiet, staring off at the wall. it's difficult to get chiaki's words out of his head, to tell people they're important to you while you still can, before they leave you behind and you can't do that anymore, and he crosses his ankles under his chair. )

...Yes, I WILL.

( he is going to miss subaru. maybe as much as he misses maya right now. maybe as much as he'll miss other people, going forward. )

But the little wolf didn't work this entire year for you to give up at the finish LINE, Baru-kun. Don't disrespect her efFORTS. ( ... ) Please.

[starrypoint]

[... oh.

the refute is something he'd expected, and when it doesn't come -- when that comes instead, subaru feels himself a little bashful, uncharacteristically as his friends might tease. he puffs his cheeks a little, battling the warmth in them, and sighs.]

I'm not trying to disrespect them, I just... I'm selfish, Natsume. That's all. [...] But I get it. I'll reconsider, okay?

[crystallomancy]

( ... )

Thank YOU. And I know you ARE. ( selfish. ) It's a core trait of idols to BE. Who else would want the world's eyes on THEM?

[starrypoint]

[...

even if he could refute it, he couldn't refute it entirely. there's no doubt a part of him does it selfishly for the stage, the feeling he gets from seeing an audience of any size-- he loves to see their smiles, hearing their cheers, making them happy sounds selfless but it's ultimately a selfish thing, probably, just for a good cause. but subaru doesn't really wanna think too hard about it, he just chuckles a little and nods.]

Yeah~, that's true. ♪ You sure sound like Eichi-senpai when you say stuff like that, though.

[teasing]

[crystallomancy]

( ugh. )

Do you remember your comment about prey DRIVE?

[starrypoint]

Is it activating?

[being natsume's prey is kinda......]

[crystallomancy]

( scoops up some soup








flicks it at him )

[starrypoint]

[jshsjjsjdjdjs]

Natsume~! Don't waste food like that, you bad boy! At least eat half of it first!

[crystallomancy]

I'm even less-inclined to eat now because of YOU.

( don't compare him to eichi. )

[starrypoint]

Naaaaaaaaaaatsuuuuuuuuuuuuuumeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!

[you know how he's gonna whine]

[crystallomancy]

( sorry he's blind he can't hear you )

[starrypoint]

[good thing he's still got the sense of touch subaru's poking him.]

Eat, eat, eat~. I won't leave you alone 'til you do~. I'll ask questions you don't want me to ask~.

[crystallomancy]

I don't have to answer even if you DO.

( ...slowly going back to eating, unhappy about it but thinking of helena. )

[starrypoint]

[... he won. leaning against.]

No, but it'll be annoying to hear them. [...] I'm happy you let yourself have that, though.

[since. their professions aside, neither of them... really thought in that way, until it was presented to them; until it arrived at their doorsteps, at different times and in different ways. until they accept it, a little, mistake it may have been.

natsume doesn't have to say anything, after all. they've always been able to read each other, to a point -- and the parts they couldn't, sometimes the lack of legibility is giving enough.]

[crystallomancy]

( that's... )

I flirted incessantly with the little kitten TOO. It's not like this is my first TIME, unlike some peoPLE.

[starrypoint]

You're mean~, it's not my first first time... Besides, Anzu couldn't give you the time of day 'cause of who she is, who we were -- it was different with Macchi.

[it became a choice.]

[crystallomancy]

( who's your first first time, subaru. )

Not as different as you THINK. Rather than "who she is, who we were" being the isSUE, it was "where we ARE". Putting being dead aSIDE, putting the idea we won't even remember—

( —she might not, if she comes back. when she does. he keeps eating, slow. )

This school's atmosphere isn't particularly conducive to lasting relationships with happy endINGS. There's a higher chance of getting hurt in some WAY. She knew THAT, and so did I. It was fine though; she wouldn't return my affections much the same way the little kitten wouldn't due to her posiTION, but I'd still be able to pull that look out of HER.

[starrypoint]

[don't worry about it.]

You didn't get to confess to Anzu though.

[crystallomancy]

( .......... )

Not in such firm terms, NO.

[starrypoint]

[speaking of faces subaru loves]

So~, I'm glad you got that chance! To have that experience! You've gotta think of it that way, Natsume! For once in your life, you're just some guy!

[crystallomancy]

( he's gonna get his sixteenth tally )

I'm not just some GUY.

[starrypoint]

[the only people allowed to kill subaru are natsume and keigo]

Okay, then who are you?

[crystallomancy]

The boy who's going to find Maya Arisu in another life, another time, another world, and hear her tell me she likes me BACK, just like she said she WOULD. After I tell her I love her despite the fact she's a hardworking, unromantic, extremely practical, and boring young girl, naturalLY.

( as you do. )

[starrypoint]

[damn dude u got it bad





but also that makes him "just some guy" and subaru's grinning really hard, even if he can't help the small tightness in his chest.]

Natsume~, you're surprisingly cute. ♪ Care to say that again? I wanna record it this time!

[let him get his phone...♪]

[crystallomancy]

( bro you dont even know the half of it )

You won't be leaving this room if I repeat IT.